Propose Caregiving Budget
Describe the care costs and your family situation. Get a fair, specific cost-sharing proposal that opens the money conversation diplomatically.
Draft an email
Subject
Fwd: Mom's care expenses - need to talk to the family about costs
I have been handling Mom's care since she broke her hip in January and moved in with me. I need help writing an email to my two brothers, Greg and Paul, about sharing the costs. Here is what I have been paying:
Home health aide 3 days a week: $2,400 per month. Medications and co-pays: roughly $350 per month. Physical therapy (2x weekly, $40 copay each): $320 per month. Groceries and special dietary items: about $200 per month extra. Installed grab bars and walk-in shower conversion: $4,800 one-time. Hospital bed rental: $180 per month.
Medicare covers her doctor visits and most hospital stays but the home aide and PT copays are entirely out of pocket. I also cut my work hours by 30% to be home on the days the aide is not here, which costs me about $1,500 per month in lost income.
Greg is an engineer in Denver and makes good money. Paul is a teacher in Phoenix and is tighter financially but lives 2 hours from Mom's doctors and could help with transportation on weekends. Neither has offered to help with costs yet and I think they genuinely do not realize what this is costing.
I do not want this to come across as resentful or like I am sending them a bill. I want it to be fair and acknowledge that we are all in different financial situations. Paul could contribute more time than money and that would be completely fine.
Home health aide 3 days a week: $2,400 per month. Medications and co-pays: roughly $350 per month. Physical therapy (2x weekly, $40 copay each): $320 per month. Groceries and special dietary items: about $200 per month extra. Installed grab bars and walk-in shower conversion: $4,800 one-time. Hospital bed rental: $180 per month.
Medicare covers her doctor visits and most hospital stays but the home aide and PT copays are entirely out of pocket. I also cut my work hours by 30% to be home on the days the aide is not here, which costs me about $1,500 per month in lost income.
Greg is an engineer in Denver and makes good money. Paul is a teacher in Phoenix and is tighter financially but lives 2 hours from Mom's doctors and could help with transportation on weekends. Neither has offered to help with costs yet and I think they genuinely do not realize what this is costing.
I do not want this to come across as resentful or like I am sending them a bill. I want it to be fair and acknowledge that we are all in different financial situations. Paul could contribute more time than money and that would be completely fine.
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