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This is from a 10th grader, AP English Language. The assignment was a rhetorical analysis of a speech. No rubric attached but we use the College Board AP Lang rubric categories (thesis, evidence/commentary, sophistication). Can you give me substantive feedback I can pass along?
Student Essay:
In the speech delivered at the 2019 Greendale University commencement, Dr. Amara Okafor uses rhetorical strategies to convince graduates to pursue public service. She uses ethos, pathos, and logos throughout the speech.
Dr. Okafor establishes ethos by talking about her own experience in public health. She mentions that she spent 15 years working in rural clinics before becoming a university president. This makes the audience trust her because she has experience. She also uses her title as university president to show authority.
The speech uses pathos when Dr. Okafor describes a young mother she treated in her first year as a doctor who could not afford medication for her child. This is sad and makes the audience feel emotional. The audience probably felt sympathy for the mother. Okafor uses this to make them want to help people.
Logos is used when she cites statistics about the shortage of public health workers in rural areas. She says there are 47 counties in the state with zero primary care physicians. This fact supports her argument that graduates should consider public service careers because there is a need.
In conclusion, Dr. Okafor effectively uses ethos, pathos, and logos to persuade Greendale University graduates to consider public service. Her rhetorical strategies make the speech convincing and powerful.
Student Essay:
In the speech delivered at the 2019 Greendale University commencement, Dr. Amara Okafor uses rhetorical strategies to convince graduates to pursue public service. She uses ethos, pathos, and logos throughout the speech.
Dr. Okafor establishes ethos by talking about her own experience in public health. She mentions that she spent 15 years working in rural clinics before becoming a university president. This makes the audience trust her because she has experience. She also uses her title as university president to show authority.
The speech uses pathos when Dr. Okafor describes a young mother she treated in her first year as a doctor who could not afford medication for her child. This is sad and makes the audience feel emotional. The audience probably felt sympathy for the mother. Okafor uses this to make them want to help people.
Logos is used when she cites statistics about the shortage of public health workers in rural areas. She says there are 47 counties in the state with zero primary care physicians. This fact supports her argument that graduates should consider public service careers because there is a need.
In conclusion, Dr. Okafor effectively uses ethos, pathos, and logos to persuade Greendale University graduates to consider public service. Her rhetorical strategies make the speech convincing and powerful.
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